Something Old...

I journaled a lot when I was in the midst of one of my serious struggles with depression.  I read through that journal now and then.  Here is something I wrote in January 2010:

My sadness...

I wish it was not mine.

Maybe that is how I must start-

     

 Disown it.

           

      Remove my name from it.

               Disconnect it from my self.

The sadness that hangs around me, that follows me, leads, accompanies me.
It pulls at me-
I cannot lift my arms to hug,
           My hands to write,
                My legs to walk.

It pulls at the corners of my mouth;
                I frown in my sleep.

It occupies every corner of my brain.
           My memories are sad,
                My thoughts are sad,
                    My words are sad.

My body and soul are consumed.