Tomorrow

Yes, tomorrow.  Tomorrow is when I'll start.  Tomorrow, when things aren't so crazy.  Tomorrow, when I have a quieter day.  Tomorrow, when the kids are napping and the laundry is done.  Tomorrow...

Just curious...have you started a gratitude journal?  Have you started paying attention to the good gifts in your life?  Or are your intentions for beginning that "new project" scheduled for....tomorrow?  If you are making time to read blogs, may I challenge you to stop.  Right now.  Go find an odd, currently unused notebook (we all have them lying around, don't we?) and a pen and stick them under your pillow.  That's it.  Then you can come back to your blogging.

The life we live does not stop.  Just like the To-Do list is never finished, life rarely gives us a breather.  I don't know about you, but a common phrase running through my head is, "I really should be doing..."  There is always something I feel like I should be doing other than the fun thing I'd rather be doing.   I really should wipe down the baseboards, iron those clothes, scrub that bathroom floor, get Bud started on that school project.  What I want to do is spend some time scrapping, or decorating for fall, or practicing my crocheting.  But there's no time!  I'll have to put those off until, yes, you guessed it...tomorrow! 

In reality, what is the harm in delaying the scrubbing of the floor an hour while I bring out ceramic pumpkins and silk leaves?  Am I not making a home for my family?  What do I want my children to remember of their childhood?  A clean home with an unhappy mom, or a warm, inviting home (slightly less clean) with a warm, inviting mom?  It's about recognizing the things that make me happy and spending some time at them.  Then the dull To-Do list isn't so bad.  Like Mary Poppins sings, "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!"

Gratitude for yesterday:
a bird with its fluffed out feathers sitting in the lilac bush outside my kitchen window
the smell of ginger cookies baking
the smiles of my boyos as they eat those cookies
Classical Christmas music
watching Bud do his math with ease and confidence
hot coffee with half and half

What's on your list?

 

I remember this!

I was visiting with a friend and her two teenage daughters last night and we got on the subject of old toys.  It started with the REALLY old toys, like what the pioneers played with.  Yarn dolls, corn husk dolls, different versions of ring toss, things like that.  Then the conversation made its way to our own old toys; things my friend and I played with as kids.


 And we remembered the Chinese Jump Rope!

Chinese Jump Rope

Do you remember playing with a Chinese jump rope?!  Oh my goodness, we LOVED it!

"In, Out, Side by side, On, In, Out!"

My friend and I jumped up at the same time shouting the chant.  Then of course we had to pull out our invisible Chinese jump rope and start demonstrating for her girls.  No, they did not find it weird at all.   What a relief, huh?  They actually thought it was pretty cool and they wished they had one!  Well, that sent my friend out to the garage to start searching because she knew she had one somewhere.  Alas, to my dismay, she did not find it.

But oh what fun it was!  Such good exercise, too.  I think I'll buy one and teach my Boyos.  Fat Brain Toys sells them; follow the link with the picture.



The Mess of Life

We can talk all day about the messes in our homes, can't we.  Sharing the stories behind those messes can even be  quite entertaining.  But what about the mess of life?  When life gets so busy, you can't tell which end is up?  When life gets so busy you lose focus on your priorities?  When life gets so busy your child looks at you and says, "You're going to be gone AGAIN?!"  What about those messes?  How do you start to control them?

I'm going to refer you back to this post where I reviewed a treasure I found at the library.  I believe, and this is my opinion of course, that the place to start cleaning up the mess of life is in your own dining room.  Or kitchen.  Schedule a time for the family to eat together.  Hubs and I decided to start our summer days as a family rather than as individuals.  When we start as individuals it looks something like this.  I'm up at 7 and eat whenever there is a chance.  Mouse would be up at 7:30/8:00 and likes to eat right away.  Hubs would get up whenever he needed to, anywhere between 7 and 8, and might eat or might not.  JoJo would get up at 8:30/9 and eat within a half an hour of getting up.  And Bud, well, he's a teenager so we might not see him til 10 or later.  Then he might grab some breakfast around 11 and then not eat lunch with us.  The day is messy before noon!  But when we start our day as a family, it goes like this.  Breakfast is served by 8:15.  Period.  Come to the table dressed or in your jammies.  But we are at the table, all 5 of us, by 8:15.  And, when we remember, Hubs leads us in a brief devotion.  It's wonderful!  It sets the tone for the day and starts us out loving one another. 

What about the rest of the day?  The week?  The month?  The year?  What about the other messes that sneak their way in to life?  I'll just tell you that it WILL happen.  There is no way to live a mess-proof life.  But getting your family into routines and traditions will help so much.  Giving the children something they can count on has always been beneficial.  Routine is important.  Well, it's the same for adults.  Knowing the family will eat together, say, every Friday night can become an exciting thing.  Knowing that there are special services at church every Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, is exciting, no?  Knowing that the tooth fairy leaves a little something under the pillow is exciting!  Knowing that the family will honor Memorial Day every year with a trip to the cemetery for a ceremony, then games and a picnic, can be exciting to look forward to! 

Routines and traditions counteract the mess of life.

I'm linking up to Messy Mommy Jobs on Weak and Loved.  Read more about the messes moms deal with.  And know that we are not alone on this exciting adventure called Motherhood!

Discovering a Treasure

"I am better at making a home than keeping a house." 

I've decided this should be the mantra by which I live.  I think it's a terrific goal, especially for my season of life.  I want my boyos to have a home.  One that is full of memories, happy times, lessons learned, hardships fought and overcome together.  Housekeeping is not, nor has it ever been, my strong suit.  And right now it is BEYOND frustrating to keep the house looking presentable.  As Mouse has now learned to say... at the appropriate times... with a grin on his face, "What?  We're boys!!"  Yes.  Yes, you are.  So, I want to focus on being a homemaker and not a housekeeper.  Please, if you plan on visiting me, know that you will be walking into a home that is less than perfect.  At least by my standards.  If you are the kind of person who can keep your home clean, than more power to you!  I congratulate you.  I tip my hat to you.  Quite seriously!!!  And if I were to enter your home, I'm sure I would envy you and your orderly home significantly.  Oh I love an orderly, quiet, peaceful home.  Remember, I am an introvert.  Quiet.  Calm.  Nice reading atmosphere.  Those are the things that help me rejuvenate.  I just can't seem to get it to be a reality in my home!  So.  I have my room where I retreat to read, write and craft.  How spoiled am I?  The rest of the house....yeah.  The rest of the house.  Oh my, do I digress.  Let's get back on track, shall we?

A home maker.  A maker of the home.  An instigator of celebrations.  A preserver of memories.  A provider of stability.  So many different thoughts come to mind.  There is something new in every day, yet something predictable and familiar with the passing of the seasons, both in the church year and outside our door.  I want to honor those changes, those opportunities for celebration.  I want to acknowledge both the present and the future.  I want to remember the past.  I want to teach my boys to do the same.

I have met some incredible women who do that already in their homes.  I have been listening, reading, taking notes, making plans.  And I have learned, at long last, to make the changes gradually.  I cannot do it all right out of the starting gate.  I will pick and choose the fun we add to our lives.  I will start with this summer.  I've been storing ideas for Summer Camp, my style.  Basically I have been gathering ideas for crafts, activities, field trips, family projects, and even fun recipes that we can do together through out the summer.  One of my resources has been this treasure:

 Mrs. Sharp's Traditions: Reviving Victorian Family Celebrations of Comfort & Joy 

This book is wonderful!  I found it on the shelf at the library one day.  The title made me smile and I knew I had to bring it home.  Mrs. Sharp is a fictional victorian character who is full of advice and lessons in how to - in my words - "make a home".  She takes the reader through the year and the seasons, retelling stories of the celebrations and traditions of victorian times.  Did you know in victorian times it was considered the "in thing" to be at home with your children?  There were books and magazines devoted to helping the lady of the house, and the mother of the children.  The American Woman's Home, written in 1869 by Catherine Beecher, called the woman's role "as sacred and important as any ordained to man."  Godey's Lady's Book,  written in 1860,  considered Mother as "the Light of the Home."  Isn't that beautiful? 

Something specific that I had been looking for is what the author, Sarah Ban Breathnach, calls "Ceremonials for Common Days."  She says, "In this frazzled age of overscheduling, eating alone, and non-traditional child care, every family needs to create its own ceremonials for common days."  Sarah is very sensitive to the fact that we do not live in victorian times.  Things have changed and many mothers work outside the home.  She does a good job guiding mothers to little things that can be worked in to any schedule and at all times of the year.  She challenges us, as well, to be Queen of our own home and stake a claim in some family time now and again.  Even if it is just as simple as enjoying breakfast together.

As "Mrs. Sharp" takes us through the calendar, talking with the reader about Irish Soda Bread and ice cream socials, she also includes a wonderful poem for each month.  Here is the one for June:

The robins and blackbirds awoke me at dawn

Out in the wet orchard, beyond the green lawn,

For there they were holding a grand jubilee,

And no one had wakened to hear it but me.

The sweet honeysuckles were sprinkled with dew;

There were hundreds of spider-webs wet with it too,

And pussy-cat, out by the lilacs, I saw

Was stopping and shaking the drops from her paw.

I dressed in the silence as still as a mouse,

And groped down the stairway and out of the house.

There, dim in the dawning, the garden paths lay,

Where yesterday evening we shouted at play.

By the borders of box-wood, and under the trees

There was nothing astir but the birds and the bees.

And if all the world had been made just for me,

I thought, what a wonderful thing it would be.

 - K.Pyle



Clean it again, Sam!

link up here

Another first for me in the Land of Blog:  linking up.  We'll see how it goes.

Emily has a wonderful post at Weak and Loved.  She shares, straight from her heart, the joys and heartaches of being a mom.  This week she is collecting photos and stories of the never ending messes we deal with as moms.  "Didn't I JUST put those crayons away?  And didn't you help me do it?  How come they are all over the floor again?!"  Sound familiar? 

Bud's biggest offense is the one of dirty socks.  They are left anywhere and everywhere. 

Athletic socks AND dress socks in the mudroom.  A room he passes through every day.  Several times a day.  Where he hangs his backpack.  Every day.  Did I mention he's in this room every day?

Here are a pair trying to hide under the chair.  Hahahaha!  You cannot hide from me, the Queen of my domain.  You will meet your doom in my washing machine soon enough.

The messes of the younger two, JoJo and Mouse, are a little more interesting.  Here's an example:

Church bulletins from Sunday (one rolled into a spyglass?  sword?), a Star Wars "dude", a cup, some gray plastic piece that look like so many other gray, plastic pieces, a notebook that I'm sure has someones story started in it.

This is when it gets difficult for me.  What's OK to toss?  How do I know they are "done" with it?  What is it's something they want to show dad when he gets home?  Generally, I go by this rule:  if it's been there for more than 2 days, I throw it out.  I told you I wasn't much of a housekeeper.  I'm better at making a home than keeping a house.

So I wonder what other messes will turn up during the week?  I'm really looking forward to hearing the stories behind the messes! 

Salute to Single Moms

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  It was a good day.  I talked with my mom and enjoyed the outdoors with my boyos.  We had a special outing the day before to the art museum which had a temporary exhibit on Egypt.  Mummies!  Perfect for a mother's day outing with 3 boys, don't you think? 

But later in the day I got to thinking about my hubby who has been absent from us for the past week.  He's in Africa doing some work with his dad.  They are repairing the roof on a girl's dormitory and possibly other repairs, too.  I'm sure it's been quite an experience so far and will continue to provide some incredible memories for Hubby and his dad.  But this post isn't about him.  It's a selfish one, about me.  And our boys.  We miss him.  We've never been apart from him for this long.  And we still have a week and a half to go.  And on this mother's day, I couldn't help but think about mother's who are constantly without their counterpart, maybe because of death or divorce.  My heart goes out to them.

How do they do it?  How do they provide the constant attention that kids need?  How do they stay strong in the constant role of disciplinarian?  How do they continually break up needless fights without joining the fight themselves?  How do they answer the constant questions day after day?  How do they make decisions without thier spouse's input?

Here are the things I miss saying because my Hubs isn't around:

"Go ask your dad."

"After the kitchen is clean, I am DONE for the night."

"Ask your dad when he gets home."

"Talk with your dad about that."

"Can you put them to bed tonight?"

"I will send your dad up to say goodnight when he gets home."

"What did your dad say?"

"Dad might know the answer to that one."

"Do I need to get your father?!"

I raise my glass, and several prayers, to all of you single mom's out there!  God bless you.

Mothers Are Home: "Only" a Mother

Mothers Are Home: "Only" a Mother

This particular writing touched me today, so I thought I'd share it.  Got your coffee?  After you read it, come on back.

I, too, am one who has been discontent in my role as mother and homemaker.  Thoughts like, "There must be more than just housecleaning and laundry, cooking and baking?!"  My three boys are at school all day.  I have no one to care for during the day.  I have been asked the question, "So, what do you do all day?"  And I have hesitated in answering, quietly asking myself, "What DO I do all day?"  There must be more.  So I use the time to write, thinking one day I'll be recognized!  I use the time to craft, thinking someone will appreciate this!

But I am recognized and appreciated.  And loved and adored - by people much more important than strangers - because I am Home to my family. 

The article made me think back to my childhood.  Could I remember the color of the walls in the kitchen?  Or the shape of the living room sofa?  Not at all.  What I do remember is music, open windows and fresh air, yummy smells in the kitchen, my mother's arms tight around me when I was sad, her cool hand on my forehead when I was sick.  My mother was home to me.  Home is a feeling of safety and security...and that was Mom.

Should I still write, craft, bake?  Yes, of course.  These are interests of mine; they bring me joy.  We as women should pursue what brings us joy.  But I believe it benefits us immensely to know that our role as mother is our highest calling.  Even when our families do not recognize what we do, our Heavenly Father does.  And He proclaims, "Well done."  I am glad to be Home to my sons.

True Love

This morning, after the boyos left for school, I went upstairs to change.  I got waylaid by the light that was left on in JoJo's and Mouse's bedroom.  I went in to turn it off as I've done so many, many times before.  I crossed the room to shut off their radio and open the curtains, and it hit me.  I love my boys so much.  Sometimes the amount of love I feel for them overwhelms me and I can't help but smile.  Even when they leave their lights on and the radio is still singing away.  Even when the dirty clothes are anywhere but the laundry basket.  Even when their room smells like BOY.  Dirty...sweaty.  And I love it.

 And then there's Bud.  That boy is growing up so fast.  I think he's taller than me now.  It makes it strange when I have to discipline him.  I had to the other day and I almost started laughing at the oddity of it.  Guess I'll have to start sitting him down from now on.  So much of the time, though, he is a joy.  He makes me so proud!  More and more of his decisions are showing thought and consideration for others.  Less and less are self-centered.  He babysat his brothers the other day while Hubby and I went to see a high school production of Phantom of the Opera (excellent, by the way).  I was terribly nervous, but he did well.  I guess I knew he would, but a mother's mind can get away from her sometimes and start to think the worst.  He remembered our rules and cared for his brothers.  What more could I ask for?   I'm not ready to leave them home alone in the evening though.  It's different. 

The overpowering sense of pride and love for my boys makes it all worth it.  All the worrying, all the frustration, all the disappointment.  That is all so little, so temporary in the scheme of things.  They are good boys.  They know that Jesus died for them and that every one of their sins is forgiven.  They are my most precious gifts from Heaven.  And I'm thankful I can call them my sons.  My Heavenly Father lavishes me with His grace.

The Snappiness of Me

So I did it.  Again.  I snapped at Mouse who was just wanting a hug. 

The thing is, I was in the middle of writing.  Of composing.  Of putting together adult sentences complete with multisyllabic words.  And I was interrupted for a little thing like a hug.  I couldn't believe it!  Could he not see that I was typing away right next to him?  Could he not tell that my mind, and my hands, were occupied?  Why did he have to choose such a time to ask for a hug?!

Oh the rush of emotions that flooded through me in a matter of seconds.  Anger.  Frustration.  Confusion.  Denial.  Guilt. 

My little Mouse is sick.  Has been for two days.  Just a low grade fever, but enough to keep him down and out.  All he wanted was a hug from his Mommy.  He's so patient to listen to my impatient crys of, "Just give me a minute!  I'm trying to write something down."   This is the same child who told me a few days ago, "You're the best mom, Mommy.  Even when you are grumpy." 

Isn't that how God deals with me?  He waits, patiently, until I have time for Him.  He watches while I busy myself with things that "can't wait".  He remains faithful to the very end.  He knows that His love for me will bring me back around.  He does not give up on me.  He floods me with grace.

Oh, the innocence of children.  Oh, the mightiness of our God.  Oh, the lessons He teaches me while I sit on my couch.  I'm thankful He waits for me with open arms.