My, it's been a long time. I've been extrememly introverted lately, when it comes to the relationship I have with this blog. Weird? Probably, but true. Such is life as me.
Much to share and it will come in bits and pieces, but for now here's something new I've been trying in my coffee. Nothing earth shattering or ground breaking, but yummy.
I pour myself a cup of coffee, add my half and half and then stir in a bit of cocoa powder. Yep, baking cocoa powder. Just a bit since it is on the bitter side. Maybe 1/2 to 1 teaspoon worth. You can of course add sugar to sweeten it, but I prefer not. Just the creaminess of the half and half with a bit of chocolate. And as a friend pointed out, getting that bit of cocoa is good for you! The benefits of antioxidants....in chocolate...mmmm.
Showing posts with label introvert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introvert. Show all posts
Friday, September 7, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
French Press Friday
I feel most obligated to post something on Fridays, now that I've given the day it's own special title. Although today, there is nothing french press-y about it. So much has happened the past couple of weeks that I don't feel I've had time to breathe, much less write. Trying times for this introvert. Happy, celebratory times, though, too. And that's a good thing. A very good thing.
I attended the EVE conference for pastors' wives two weekends ago. I think it was our 7th year...? Not too sure about that. But the numbers keep growing and the wonderful topics just keep coming. I do so wish we could extend it a bit, from one night to two. But that's a hard thing to do for some of the women. Most of them, maybe. Lots of littles at home. It's encouraging, though, to hear from more and more members at church how they, too, wish it were a little longer....for my sake...for the sake of the other wives. These members know how much we give, and sacrifice, for the sake of our husbands' ministries. They like knowing that we, the wives, are being cared for and fed, too. It is encouraging.
And then last weekend, my oldest....my baby....my firstborn....my companion through the seminary years....was confirmed! I teared up during the service when he, with the other confirmands, answered the questions himself that were answered for him at his baptism.
"Do you renounce the devil?"
"Yes, I renounce him."
Do you renounce all his works?"
"Yes, I renounce them."
"Do you renounce all his ways?"
"Yes, I renounce them."
"Do you believe in God the Father Almighty...in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord...in the Holy Spirit?"
"Yes, I believe..."
Proud Mama. Proud Daddy. Proud family. If I could, I'd add a picture right now. But that will come. (A stop at Best Buy for some computer gadget is on my to-do list today. Then I can transfer pics more easily...)
We celebrated with a house full of family and friends. What a wonderful time it was! Bud enjoyed all the attention, I think. No, I KNOW he enjoyed it! And the gifts that come with the event, of course. Such a showering of love and well-wishes for him. A strong demonstration for him of those that love him.
I just enjoyed watching him. Taking pics. Trying to preserve this day, these memories. Another First for my oldest, my baby.
I attended the EVE conference for pastors' wives two weekends ago. I think it was our 7th year...? Not too sure about that. But the numbers keep growing and the wonderful topics just keep coming. I do so wish we could extend it a bit, from one night to two. But that's a hard thing to do for some of the women. Most of them, maybe. Lots of littles at home. It's encouraging, though, to hear from more and more members at church how they, too, wish it were a little longer....for my sake...for the sake of the other wives. These members know how much we give, and sacrifice, for the sake of our husbands' ministries. They like knowing that we, the wives, are being cared for and fed, too. It is encouraging.
And then last weekend, my oldest....my baby....my firstborn....my companion through the seminary years....was confirmed! I teared up during the service when he, with the other confirmands, answered the questions himself that were answered for him at his baptism.
"Do you renounce the devil?"
"Yes, I renounce him."
Do you renounce all his works?"
"Yes, I renounce them."
"Do you renounce all his ways?"
"Yes, I renounce them."
"Do you believe in God the Father Almighty...in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord...in the Holy Spirit?"
"Yes, I believe..."
Proud Mama. Proud Daddy. Proud family. If I could, I'd add a picture right now. But that will come. (A stop at Best Buy for some computer gadget is on my to-do list today. Then I can transfer pics more easily...)
We celebrated with a house full of family and friends. What a wonderful time it was! Bud enjoyed all the attention, I think. No, I KNOW he enjoyed it! And the gifts that come with the event, of course. Such a showering of love and well-wishes for him. A strong demonstration for him of those that love him.
I just enjoyed watching him. Taking pics. Trying to preserve this day, these memories. Another First for my oldest, my baby.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Supporting the introvert
Here's the introvert in me. I've been rereading yesterday's post and mulling it over in my head. A little too much maybe, because I'm worried about possible offending some of you who are extroverts! My intent is not to raise the introvert and lower the extrovert. One is not better than the other. My intent is just to raise the introvert. That's it. You extroverts are great! I just felt the need to speak up for the little guys. So are we OK? Great!
On with the post!
How can you support your introverted friend or loved one? Pretty easy, really. Here are some things to think about.
1) Give them time to observe for a while when in new situations. We are not antisocial. We need a chance to take things in. Check out how many people are around, if we happen to know any of them, and where the bathroom is so we can "escape" for a while if we need to. We are a little uncomfortable in new surroundings and we just like to get our bearings. Please don't make us jump right into the middle of things. Stay by our side for a while and we'll give you the A-OK after a minute.
2) Give them time to think; don't demand instant answers. It's not that we are unintelligent. It's not that we didn't hear you. We just need time to process what was said, formulate our reply and then make it come out of our mouths. Please be patient. We aren't deliberately trying to frustrate the heck out of you!
3) Don't interrupt. Oh my, this is a biggie for me. It follows right on the heels of number two. Just because we finally get to talking doesn't mean it's all going to come out in a rush. We pause and consider between thoughts just as we pause and consider before we even start. Just because I took a breath doesn't mean I was done with what I had to say. Sheesh! But see, if you aren't an introvert you don't know this. I'll address this issue later.
4) Give a warning cry of some type before changing plans or activities. I learned this one with Bud. He shared with me once that he hates being interrupted while practicing his trumpet. Even if it's for supper. We just need time to adjust our thinking. We need time to prepare the train to move from one track to the other. Our train does not jump tracks, OK? Sorry. That's the way it is.
5) Reprimand them privately. A good one to remember if you have kids who are introverts. Just think about how much we hate crowds. Then think about how totally humiliating it would be to have a mistake pointed out IN FRONT OF THAT CROWD! Even if the crowd is just your family. The feeling of embarrassment is powerful. It can overrule any feelings of regret for having done wrong and I don't think much will be learned.
6) Don't expect them to have lots of friends. This has been a tough one for me personally. I've felt I was supposed to have lots of friends and an active social life. Well, that's not who I am. I have very few near and dear friends. I think an introvert came up with the word "acquaintance". I have lots of acquaintances and few friends. Extroverts have tons of friends. Just check their Facebook page! Introverts, do you "friend" everyone, or are you choosy? I bet you're choosy. We don't want everyone peeking into our lives. Social networking is almost an evil for us introverts. Even the phrase gives me the shudders...
7) Don't try to change them. There really is nothing wrong with us. Please respect who we are, what we need, and the ways we survive this crazy life.
8) Ask them to share their needs. We probably won't tell you what we need. We probably won't say as we walk in the door to a noisy party, "Hey, give me a minute or two to take in my new surroundings." So you are going to have to ask us what will be helpful. And you introverts who are reading this: Take some time to talk to your loved ones. As much as it would help, as much as we would wish it to be so once in a while, no one can read our minds. You are going to have to find words to explain your needs. It will NOT be helpful to hand this list to someone and expect them to make your life easier. You will have to do some work, too. You can do it! And it helps so much.
On with the post!
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| This cracks me up, because it' so perfect! |
1) Give them time to observe for a while when in new situations. We are not antisocial. We need a chance to take things in. Check out how many people are around, if we happen to know any of them, and where the bathroom is so we can "escape" for a while if we need to. We are a little uncomfortable in new surroundings and we just like to get our bearings. Please don't make us jump right into the middle of things. Stay by our side for a while and we'll give you the A-OK after a minute.
2) Give them time to think; don't demand instant answers. It's not that we are unintelligent. It's not that we didn't hear you. We just need time to process what was said, formulate our reply and then make it come out of our mouths. Please be patient. We aren't deliberately trying to frustrate the heck out of you!
3) Don't interrupt. Oh my, this is a biggie for me. It follows right on the heels of number two. Just because we finally get to talking doesn't mean it's all going to come out in a rush. We pause and consider between thoughts just as we pause and consider before we even start. Just because I took a breath doesn't mean I was done with what I had to say. Sheesh! But see, if you aren't an introvert you don't know this. I'll address this issue later.
4) Give a warning cry of some type before changing plans or activities. I learned this one with Bud. He shared with me once that he hates being interrupted while practicing his trumpet. Even if it's for supper. We just need time to adjust our thinking. We need time to prepare the train to move from one track to the other. Our train does not jump tracks, OK? Sorry. That's the way it is.
5) Reprimand them privately. A good one to remember if you have kids who are introverts. Just think about how much we hate crowds. Then think about how totally humiliating it would be to have a mistake pointed out IN FRONT OF THAT CROWD! Even if the crowd is just your family. The feeling of embarrassment is powerful. It can overrule any feelings of regret for having done wrong and I don't think much will be learned.
6) Don't expect them to have lots of friends. This has been a tough one for me personally. I've felt I was supposed to have lots of friends and an active social life. Well, that's not who I am. I have very few near and dear friends. I think an introvert came up with the word "acquaintance". I have lots of acquaintances and few friends. Extroverts have tons of friends. Just check their Facebook page! Introverts, do you "friend" everyone, or are you choosy? I bet you're choosy. We don't want everyone peeking into our lives. Social networking is almost an evil for us introverts. Even the phrase gives me the shudders...
7) Don't try to change them. There really is nothing wrong with us. Please respect who we are, what we need, and the ways we survive this crazy life.
8) Ask them to share their needs. We probably won't tell you what we need. We probably won't say as we walk in the door to a noisy party, "Hey, give me a minute or two to take in my new surroundings." So you are going to have to ask us what will be helpful. And you introverts who are reading this: Take some time to talk to your loved ones. As much as it would help, as much as we would wish it to be so once in a while, no one can read our minds. You are going to have to find words to explain your needs. It will NOT be helpful to hand this list to someone and expect them to make your life easier. You will have to do some work, too. You can do it! And it helps so much.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Being an Introvert
Introvert or extrovert? Do you know which one you are? My guess is, if you are an introvert and you know it, that you might feel a bit ashamed because of it. Or that if you are an extrovert, you might feel a bit of relief that you're not an introvert. Along with being an introvert comes the stigma of being shy, antisocial, a wallflower. On the other end of the spectrum are the extroverts who are seen as the life of the party, the movers and shakers, the people we all look up to. While these descriptions might be true, this does not lessen the importance of the introvert. I have learned that being an introvert does not define me, it simply describes me.
What is an introvert? Simply put, an introvert is a person who needs to find some time alone in order to recharge the inner battery. Quiet and solitude are what motivates this person and provides energy to meet the day. Now, this is not to say that an introvert always needs to be alone or cannot tolerate noise. This is just what is needed after putting herself out there for a length of time. For example, weekends tend to do me in. The boyos are home from school, which is a good thing! Please don't misunderstand me. It just puts 5 people in our tiny house for 48+ hours (and only the introvert can relate to this!). Add to that being at church for a few hours on Sunday where I float in a sea of people. Again, being at church is a good thing, a needed thing. But it also puts me "out there". It's just a fact. So when Monday rolls around I am more than happy to kiss my boyos and Hubby goodbye...and enjoy my quiet house all...day...long. I might run errands, but I do it in a kind of fog. I do it "in my own world". I enjoy being on my own, accomplishing my tasks without having to talk to anyone. And then at the end of the day when it's time for everyone to come home, I'm ready!
The extrovert, on the other hand, gets charged up by being with people. Talking and mingling and sharing events of the day are energizing. I don't get this AT ALL, but it's what I've learned and apparently it's true! :) Imagine the kitchen table at breakfast full of chatter and talk of plans for the day, maybe everyone sharing at the same time. People talking over each other making sure everything gets said, from "pass the milk" to "don't forget I have practice after school." This would look normal and be energizing for the extrovert. It might look normal to the introvert, too, but it would be chaotic. The extrovert would be charged and ready to go. The introvert would need to go back to bed! Not because she was tired, but because she'd need a little quiet and a chance to restart the day.
Society tells us that being an extrovert is the way to go. Extroverts get things done. Extroverts get noticed. From elementary schools to the workplace, it's the extrovert behavior that is encouraged. The "cool kids", the popular crowd we all thought we wanted to be a part of....who were they? The athletes who were out on the court or on the field. The ones who went to the parties, to the dances, who sat in big groups at lunch. The class presidents, the class clowns. The ones with the big ideas, the ones who speak up first, who speak up the loudest. Those are the ones we want as our leaders, don't you think? But there is something to be said for the introverted behavior. We think more and talk less. We weigh situations before making decisions. We have tremendous skill when it comes to observation. We make the best listeners. We have an eye for detail. When we do offer an idea, it's usually well thought out and complete.
So are you an introvert? Or do you know someone who is? Tomorrow I'll give you some ideas on caring for an introvert. Nothing very profound. Just some things I've learned along the way through my reading and...just living life as an introvert.
Blessings on your days ahead.
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| I knew I loved Audrey for a reason! |
The extrovert, on the other hand, gets charged up by being with people. Talking and mingling and sharing events of the day are energizing. I don't get this AT ALL, but it's what I've learned and apparently it's true! :) Imagine the kitchen table at breakfast full of chatter and talk of plans for the day, maybe everyone sharing at the same time. People talking over each other making sure everything gets said, from "pass the milk" to "don't forget I have practice after school." This would look normal and be energizing for the extrovert. It might look normal to the introvert, too, but it would be chaotic. The extrovert would be charged and ready to go. The introvert would need to go back to bed! Not because she was tired, but because she'd need a little quiet and a chance to restart the day.
So are you an introvert? Or do you know someone who is? Tomorrow I'll give you some ideas on caring for an introvert. Nothing very profound. Just some things I've learned along the way through my reading and...just living life as an introvert.
Blessings on your days ahead.
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